I help working women develop a personal plan to manage and lower their own overwhelming stress. We begin by identifying influences that trigger their stress response. Then we determine the degree of stress that is felt with each trigger. Once we know “what,” “when,” and “how,” we consider “why.”
The “why “addresses the true cause of chronic stress. It is often the underlying or unrecognized source that contributes to chronic, overwhelming stress. The social and political climate in which we currently live is particularly toxic to Black women. In my opinion, it may also intensify the need to be a superwoman.
Being Superwoman
According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, superwoman syndrome is defined as “a set of characteristics found in a woman who performs or attempts to perform all the duties typically associated with several different full-time roles, such as wage earner, mother, homemaker and wife.” Superwoman syndrome leads to exhaustion, overwhelm and overwork.
Some readers may say that Black women are not the only women who experience superwoman syndrome. This statement is true. It is also true that superwoman syndrome leads to chronic stress. Chronic stress kills Black women. Black women have disproportionately higher rates of adverse health conditions. These conditions include cardiovascular disease, lupus, anxiety, and depression. Studies show that chronic stress contributes to the health disparities.
Chronic stress also contributes to obesity and high blood pressure. It also exacerbates conditions like arthritis and diabetes.
Cheryl L. Woods-Giscombe, PhD, RN, PMHNP-BC, FAAN is currently the Melissa and Harry LeVine Family Professor of Quality of Life, Health, Promotion and Wellness at the University of North Carolina School of Nursing. Her research focuses on “understanding and reducing stress-related health disparities among African-Americans.”
Dr, Woods-Giscombe authored the journal article Superwoman Schema: African American Women’s Views on Stress, Strength, and Health. She wrote “the Superwoman role has been highlighted as a phenomenon influencing the ways that African American women experience and report stress.”
Pressured
We feel as if we must always be everything to everybody. We feel pressured by the need to navigate racial inequalities and exclusion from social, political, and economic participation. How do we teach our children to do so when we struggle ourselves? We put on a brave front and deny our natural feelings and expressions.
Dr. Woods-Giscombe’s research outlines the factors that contribute to chronic overwhelming stress in Black women. She conducted a series of focus groups with a diverse group of Black women. The groups were diverse in age, education, employment, and income. The women discussed their feelings and experiences related to five topics that relate to superwoman syndrome.
I can personally relate to her findings. We must learn to cope differently with the stressors that we face daily. This will allow us to maintain good health and positive outcomes in the current climate in which we live. We must also reimagine the expectations that we use to hold ourselves accountable.
We must understand the constructs of the superwoman syndrome to make healthier choices. Dr. Woods-Giscombe’s study affords us a closer look. I will outline the five characteristics she studied using focus groups.
We cannot Show Weakness
Black women feel that we must present strength even when we do not feel like it. That is what mama, grandma, auntie, the next-door neighbor, and scores of others did. We all saw them struggle and we were emboldened by their unwavering strength. They stood tall like cypress trees. We wanted to be like them.
The women in the focus groups all expressed that they had to present an image of strength to their families, friends, and close community. They saw women before them present such an image despite the challenges they faced.
It was expected.
We cannot Show Emotions
Black women hide their emotions, often to our detriment. Emotional expression can be misinterpreted as weakness. It can also be interpreted as threatening to the majority culture. Black women are often labeled aggressive, hard to work with, or attitudinal when we express our emotions in the workplace.
We are often put down, disparaged, and avoided within our own communities. Friends get tired of hearing emotional concerns. It is uncomfortable and the topic of the conversation changes. The concerns may be minimized with recommendations to “get over it,” or “get out of your feelings.”
As a result, Black women learn to hide our feelings. We bottle them up and put a cap on them. This works until the cap blows and everything bubbles out.
We Cannot be Vulnerable
Vulnerability opens us up to being hurt. We have seen our mothers, grandmothers, and aunts hurt by people they trusted. Black women strive to control situations involving them. Unfortunately, many Black women are taught as young girls that we cannot depend on anyone. This sentiment is shared verbally and modeled before us.
My mother and father were married for 55 years until my father’s death. They got married in their 20s and grew together. The challenges they faced were faced together. My parents worked hard, taught us to work hard as well. We always had everything we needed and then some growing up. We laughed a lot, talked a lot, and spent time together as a family.
My mother, however, consistently told me that I had to be able to take care of myself. I, too, shared the same with my daughters.
We Cannot Fail
Black women have a drive to be successful despite the social, economic, and political limitations we face, . Many are taught that we must “work twice as hard” as others to get where they are. We often sacrifice our health and wellbeing to achieve our perception of success. Focus group participants said they consistently work long hours and fail to get enough sleep.
Professional Black women also experience pressure to achieve from their close community. Pressure comes from an expectation for them to progress in their profession, keep their husbands happy, raise children, advise emerging adult children, maintain a clean home, and support aging parents or relatives.
Who could possibly do all of that? Someone who is trying to be a superwoman.
We Cannot Let Others Falter
Constant availability leads to chronic, overwhelming stress. An inability to say “no” or to release control also contributes to overwhelm. Additionally, women are nurturers. Black women tend to feel obligated to meet other’s needs. We feel responsible for other’s comfort and happiness.
History requires us to take on the role of superwoman. According to Dr. Woods-Giscombe’s study we see benefits from this role. We believe we can better address the obstacles, inadequate resources, and life experiences of being a Black woman. Being a superwoman enables us to preserve our families and family traditions. We also trust that we empower the Black community by sharing our talents, skills, knowledge, and experiences.
Attempting to be superwomen, however, increases stress and negatively impacts our health and well-being. Once we recognize that this way of thinking is kryptonite, then we can make changes for our health.
I am showing working women how to manage stress and find balance in their own way during “Stress Talk” Live with Marcyline Bailey. This 30 minute program is broadcast every Sunday at 4pm on the M.L Bailey Consultants Facebook page and on YouTube. Join us weekly.
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“Here is to your sustainable, successful and satisfying stress managed life.”
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