Defining My Ideal Client

One Morning

I looked in the mirror one morning before I put on my blonde wig. My hairstylist convinced me a while back that blonde was my color. I sported that color for several years as my own brown hair turned gray. I could not decide whether to color it or let it gray naturally. Strand by stand the gray started to overtake the brown. I had covered my hair so long that I failed to notice the beauty of the gray as it became more pronounced. That morning, after seeing my hair through a new lens, I threw my wig in the closet and allowed my kinky, natural graying hair to be free. I realized that I too, wanted to be free.

Freedom for me means that I am no longer defined solely by the expectations of my titles of mother, wife, or daughter. It also means that my abilities are not judged to be lacking because of my profession and career choice as a social worker. Freedom meant having the confidence to be proud of what I had already accomplished. The impacts I have made have been regional, local and above all personal. We do not all have to be the top news story of the day.

When our daughters were in middle school, I began thinking about my next phase of life. I had just reached the age of 50 and wondered what my life would look like in the future.

My Thoughts

I thought about the goals and dreams I had as a younger person. Dreams I never pursued and ultimately never realized. I always did what was expected of me, fitting into boxes that made others comfortable. This was not exclusively bad, it was life. I realized, however, that going forward, I had an opportunity to be the no-nonsense, tell-it-like-it-is, go-getter that I always wanted to be. Additionally, I could define what that meant for me.

Some women aged 35 – 65 have reached this realization as well. They acknowledge that they have been everything to the people in their lives. They were available and present as their children grew and supported the goals of their spouses and families. The decisions they made were made based on the needs of their families and loved ones. As a result, they may have put their own desires on hold, waiting for an opportunity to go for it.

Some will wait for opportunities that never come.

Others, however, will summon the courage, confidence, and commitment to reach for the dreams they left behind, draw them into the present and plan to realize them in the future.

When we reach a certain age, we no longer want to present ourselves the way that others find acceptable. We tire of the pretense, feeling as if we cannot be true to ourselves. I personally want to flaunt my own style, which is classic, yet fun, sporty, and sexy. My personality is outgoing, but my work and the environments I have worked in have taught me to be reserved. I am an imaginative dreamer and creative. However, I have learned that creativity is not always valued in workplaces that thrive on structure and hierarchy.

The Journey

The journey to reconcile feelings of the past and to reclaim abandoned dreams begins when my ideal client reaches this realization. For me, the journey started 10 years ago when I started a part-time private practice and consulting firm. I always wanted to own my own business. More than that I wanted to feel a sense of accomplishment having built something that would encourage others’ personal growth and connection.

For the past 10 years, I have tried to figure out who my ideal client was and what they wanted. It only took looking in the mirror to find my answer. Where will you find the answer to what you seek?

“I want to be happy, whole, satisfied and successful. What about you?”