Introduction
You have beliefs, thoughts, or emotions that are holding you hostage. Many of these come from past experiences. Some are from your current life experiences. This unnecessary emotional clutter is taking up space in your mind and heart.
What you need is a tool to help you free yourself of the baggage.
In this blog post, I will share A Simple Tool for Stressed Women to Let Go of Emotional Clutter.
Welcome to Happy Half Hour. Club
I am Marcyline Bailey, a licensed clinical social worker with close to 30 years of experience. We help women over 40 live healthy lives through strategic stress management and solution focused self-care.
I know what it feels like to live with overwhelming stress. It feels like you are weighted down carrying a sack full of stuff. The problem is that you cannot put the stuff down and you keep being handed more.
“Stress Talk” is about showing you how to relieve stress and re-energize, so you have all that you need to meet the challenges you face daily.
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In day today’s blog, I am sharing a tool that is adapted from the book Clearing Emotional Clutter by Donald Altman. This tool changes how you respond to the clutter.
It’s not stress – it’s the response
Stress is not the culprit. We need it. Stress is a physical reaction to a change or an unspecified stimulus. The stress response is initiated when we hear loved ones yell “Surprise” at our birthday party in the same way it does when we are told the agency is closing. Going from a heated swimming pool to 30-degree temperatures initiate the stress response. Having a hot flash does the same.
It is our response to the stimulus or change that creates chronic stress. Some of us are conditioned to respond to situations in a certain way. Sometimes our response is overly emotional and does not facilitate problem-solving. We can lower stress levels by learning to regulate our emotional responses.
About Stress
The stress response is triggered when the brain perceives that we have encountered a threat. The 5 senses alert the amygdala of potential danger. The amygdala takes over instantaneously releasing adrenaline, cortisol, and other stress hormones. The purpose is to prepare to fight or flee. We learned much of this in 2nd grade science class.
Unfortunately, when we are experiencing constant stress, we are more susceptible to illness and disease. For example, large levels of cortisol kill T-cells. T-cells fight infections and keep us healthy. This is one of the reasons that our immunity is low when we are stressed.
Additionally, stress impacts chronic conditions. The body works harder and chronic conditions like diabetes, high blood pressure or heart disease are more difficult to manage.
Connecting and Disconnecting
One way to release emotional clutter is to gain an understanding of past clutter. In the activity, you play the role of a detective. Think about Ms. Marple or Agatha Christie. Instead of solving a murder mystery, you are getting to know and understand yourself better.
In a previous blog post, I talked about emotional clutter. Try to recognize the negative thoughts that trigger unhappy emotions. This is where you will begin.
As you recognize the negative thoughts, begin to pay attention to how your body feels. Do you notice changes in your breathing? Is your heartbeat faster and harder? Are you experiencing muscle tension in your neck or shoulders? Does your stomach feel queasy? These are all signs of the stress response.
Now notice your mood. What emotions or feelings are you having? Be bold. Name them out loud. Write them down. Next, you should notice your energy levels as well as the energy in the room. Has your energy dropped? Does the energy in the room feel weighted down? Finally, consider how the clutter and emotions you noticed affect you. Are you affected in the same way each time you engage with these thoughts or feelings?
This process is introspective and takes practice. Over time, you will begin to connect in a way that allows you to disconnect from harmful clutter quickly.
Reframe and Refocus
Visualization is another tool that clears emotional clutter and moves your away from stinking thinking.
Begin by using a technique called Belly Breathing. Take a long deep breath in through the nose. Hold it for a moment and then exhale slowly through the mouth. As you exhale, push the belly button towards the back. Imagine that you are blowing emotional clutter out. Repeat several times.
Once you feel relaxed, picture a time when you felt lighter, happier, and more joyful. Imagine this picture in total using your five senses. Recall what you saw, heard, smelled, tasted, or physically felt. Just rest in this memory.
Finish and Follow-Up
Engage in either strategy to prevent becoming bogged down in emotional clutter. Immediately use one or both when you notice signs that you are dwelling on clutter.
M.L. Bailey Consultants helps women live healthy lives through strategic stress management and solution focused self-care.
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A Simple Tool for Stressed Women to Let Go of Emotional Clutter