Three Low Stress Actions to Deal with Conflict in the Workplace

Do you hate conflict? A conflict is a contentious disagreement or argument. Conflicts often have a long shelf life and seem to last forever without intervention. They are caused by ongoing struggle around ideas, principles, or interests. Some avoid engaging in conversations related to or resulting from conflicts. Others enjoy debate and approach the conversations like a chess match. They consider their opponent’s moves and think ahead planning their own.

Conflict, however, is not always friendly debate. It fuels unpleasant interactions and reactions. For this reason, many try to evade conflict if possible. Evading conflict may not be good for your emotional or mental health.

Initial reaction to a conflict creates thoughts about the situation. We naturally think about the details that caused the conflict. Our thoughts generate feelings. Thoughts that trend toward the negative invoke negative feelings. Thoughts that trend toward the positive bring about positive feelings. These feelings will initiate the stress response. We often exclusively attribute the stress response experience to actual events that frighten or traumatize. Thoughts and feelings about a situation also trigger the stress response.

Thoughts Feelings Stress

The stress response is a physical reaction. It starts immediately when the body is exposed to a change or to an unspecified stimulus. Information from our sense of sight, sound, touch, taste, or smell is transmitted to the brain. The hypothalamus triggers the pituitary and adrenal glands. They begin to secrete stress related hormones like norepinephrine, cortisol, and adrenaline. The heart begins to beat faster and harder. Blood flows to our vital organs like the brain. Blood pressure increases. The digestive system slows down. Muscles tense. The body prepares to fight or flee. The result is the experience of stress. Our thoughts and feelings continuously stimulate the stress response. This contributes to ongoing stress.

There are various ways to approach conflicts in the workplace that allow you to limit the overwhelming stress that they may cause.

Address your participation in the conflict

At M.L. Bailey Consultants, we believe in the importance of “assessing one’s self first.” Before attempting to address a conflict start with yourself. Objectively examine your feelings and attitudes regarding the situation and those involved. Also consider your role related to how the conflict developed.

A mindfulness approach helps this process. Practicing mindfulness throughout the day allows us to focus on the “here and now.” We experience the present moment intentionally with curiosity, openness, and without judgment. Both attention and awareness are laser focused so we can experience the moment in its totality.

Mindfulness practice provides space for each of us to approach our individual reactions and responses in a non-judgmental way. It cultivates self-acceptance and acceptance of others. Mindfulness practice enables us to extend the benefit of the doubt to others while avoiding emotion driven assumptions. We grow to give others and ourselves a break.

Focus on the Desired Outcome

Outcome is another area that M.L. Bailey Consultants emphasizes. In the work environment, our energy should be focused on meeting the organization’s mission.

The mission is the organization’s desired outcome. It is the reason the organization exists. We encourage professionals to target their energy toward the desired outcome. Conflict in the work environment splinters or fractures accord. Accord in this instance is the agreement to work together to meet the company or organizational mission. When this happens, work suffers, and the mission is hindered.

Consider how the conflict delays the mission of the organization. Clarify what should happen instead to advance the organization’s mission. Work towards that outcome.

Use a structured process

A structured process for resolving conflicts minimizes unproductive comments and supports problem-solving. Human resource departments can provide guidance regarding a process that is sanctioned by the organization. Prior to participating in such a process, it may be necessary for participants to prepare themselves.

A mindfulness process that prepares individuals for uncomfortable conversations is the RAIN meditation. You may learn more about RAIN by visiting the website of clinical psychologist and leading meditation teacher Tara Brach.

RAIN is an acronym that helps us to remember the four steps to practicing mindfulness and compassion.

R – recognize what is happening
A – allow the experience to be there, just as it is
I – investigate with interest and care
N – nurture with self-compassion

Becky Bailey, PhD also has a simple, yet effective and structured process for conflict resolution. She introduced the conflict resolution time machine through her Conscious Discipline® program for children. We use a variation of the process in our work with adults at M.L. Bailey Consultants. This process works well because it uses a foundation of mindfulness principles. Participants focus their attention and awareness on the present moment. They enter the process with curiosity and gratitude. Each participant is reminded of the importance of being non-judgmental by actively wishing each other well.

Incorporating these steps will help you to minimize stress while resolving conflict.

“I want to be happy, whole, satisfied and successful. What about you?”

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