Free Yourself from Worrying About Change

How often do you find yourself worrying about a situation, impending event, or the past? Chronic worry leads to chronic stress. Chronic stress negatively affects our physical, mental. and emotional health. So, what is the benefit of worry?

Worry is deliberately spending time pondering difficulties or concerns. When we worry, our mind dwells on the problem and the uncertainty of the outcome. We convince ourselves that we are working the situation out in our minds.

Unfortunately, worry is not problem solving. Worry initiates the stress response and expends energy. Over 40 and Over 50 women have better things to do. Instead of worrying about things that are a natural part of life, we can take actions that will bring us satisfaction and joy.

In a recent episode of “Stress Talk” with Marcyline, I talked about 5 things that women over 50 worry about and share what to do about it. In this post, I will talk about one of those items.

Transformation Lab: How to Stay Grounded in Troubled Times – Karla McClaren

Change is a natural part of life. As we grow older, we resist change. We are comfortable with the familiar. The reality is that we experience change all the time. Seasons change. Time changes. We change. Change occurs whether we want it to or not.

We resist change because we fear the unknown. That is one reason we worry. We are trying to work out a solution. Another reason we worry is an attempt to figure out the outcome. How will this end?

When we resist change, we sometimes stay in situations that are no longer benefiting us. For example, some women remain in unsatisfying relationships. Other women stay in work situations that may be unfulfilling. Still others have trouble letting go of memories or emotions that no longer serve them.

We should not fear change. It can open a pathway to opportunities that have not been considered. We should also believe that we have all that is needed to face whatever difficulties we may encounter.

Two effective ways to approach change or resistance to change follows.

Begin by asking yourself the following question. What am I afraid of? When you answer, do not stop there. Ask yourself again, what am I afraid of as it relates to the answer. Continue to ask the question each time you answer. The idea is to get to the real reason the change frightens you.

When you have no new answers, you have the primary reason for the fear. This process provides an opportunity to address a belief that may hinder you in another way. You may need to see a therapist or life coach to help you work through the hindering belief.

Transformation Lab: How to Stay Grounded in Troubled Times – Karla McClaren

Here is another way to address your fear of change.

Create a timeline of your life. A simple timeline looks like number line elementary school teachers use to teach addition and subtraction. A fancier timeline looks like a winding road or path. Either one will work.

Begin by plotting significant events in your life. These are events, occasions or occurrences that made an impact on you. These events are noteworthy or hold a particular meaning to you. A significant event to some may be the loss of their first tooth. Their timeline may start at that point. Others may choose to start their timeline with high school graduation.

Start where you are comfortable. Significant events often represent points when life changes occurred. Losing your first tooth may have meant you were no longer considered a baby. Therefore, you were assigned chores. Graduating from high school indicated the beginning of adulthood, as a result, you were expected to move out on your own.
Once you plot the significant events in your life, review your timeline. As you review, consider the following questions.

• What happened that made this event significant to me?
• What did I think about the outcome?
• How did I feel about the outcome?
• Have I experienced similar situations? How did I handle them?

These are questions that a therapist will ask as the two of you process the information together. We sometimes become fearful of change because of experiences we had in the past.

We resist change, especially when it seems as if too much is happening too fast. That is why I am sharing the following resource with you.

Transformation Lab: How to Stay Grounded in Troubled Times – Karla McClaren

Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn